Mulling The Future.

I go through these rough patches a couple of times a year, where I get incredibly restless and frustrated with what I'm doing, and the direction of my life. I'm in such a patch right now. This one was triggered by news of some friends starting up an indie dev studio, and actually achieving a modicum of success, so far.

I get very thoughtful at times like this. I mull the possibilities and try and figure out ways to get out of what I see as the massive rut I'm in. I think about what it is I really, really want, if I could have and do anything I liked.

Apart from having the ability to turn myself invisible, this is what I want ..

I'd like to quit my day job and start a small indie dev studio, working with a small team of like minded, enthusiastic, energetic, and creative people. I'd like there to be a reason beyond "having to". I'd like to regain some of the enjoyment and purpose I used to feel, when sitting in front of a computer all day. I'd like to create something. I'd like to make and program games.

This is my dream, so how do I achieve it? How do I get from where I am to a position where I can indulge myself so unashamedly?

First of all, I need to be wealthy enough to not have to make an income. This is because it is tough to make a living doing indie games. It's a fact, and it's no surprise that most small devs don't survive, and that unless all the planets line up and you're buried under a pile of four leaf clovers, you wont make enough to support yourself, never mind a team. So I need money.

I also need people who share the passion and who can make the jump and support themselves financially while building our first game (or second, or third). That's key when there is no money available to support a team. I know some good people who have the enthusiasm, but most simply aren't in a position to do something full time and make the leap.

Finally, I need a plan. A plan of action, detailing what I want to achieve and how I'm going to do it. I also need a business plan to help expose the harsh realities of starting and runnig a small indie dev studio.

The money thing is covered, at least personally. I have enough put away to support myself for a couple of years if I have to. Other people are a little more tricky. I doubt I could find anyone willing to quit their day job and support themselves for awhile. Of course I could do it full time and just work with others part time. That could be quite viable.

The plan is easy. I have ideas-a-plenty, and the business plan is straight forward too. I already know the harsh realities that something like this would entail. I think realistically, the most appropriate way of achieving my dreams is to continue doing it in my free time. The problem with this of course, is that free time is at a premium, as is energy after a busy day doing my day job.

So what to do? Sit and dream I suppose. Oh, and continue to plot. I'll certainly continue making my games and hopefully, when all my ducks are lined up finally, I'll pull the trigger and just do it.